X10 modules with status do exist. Many of the micro modules especially the Xanura ones have status and the X10-2 modules also. The Xanura ones will broadcast their status automatically when they are operated manually (i.e. via a local switch rather than an X10 command). But the x10-2 modules require you to send an X10 command to request a status update.
While X10 is a capable system it can provide a lot of headaches.
Another system similar to X10 is PLCBus. It has a similar addressing scheme to X10 but is not X10 compatible. There are PLCBus to X10 gateways available and you can run the 2 systems side by side.
There are also some cool LCD touch screens available for the PLCBus that are reasonable in price.
As for software control Homeseer has a PLCBus plugin. And there is some software called Homeplanner, though with the new version it seems to have changed its name to Habeetat planner 4. Also Homevision can be used with PLCBus, there is a free script available. You might be able to pick up a Homevision unit on ebay as they are now no longer being made, or shops may sell off their existing stock cheap.
More PLCBus links
Another system to consider would be an Idratek system. they have their own forum on here.