I've just started a new build (timber frame) and have been looking at this whole area of HA and media distribution. I'm confused.

I'd like to incorporate the following and think I have solutions in mind for most areas:

Computer network - easy, cat5e everywhere (plus I work at this 9 to 5)
Multi-room video - only want this going to the main bedroom - Kat5
Multi-room audio - I am very tempted by Sonos
Lighting Control - no idea. Would like preset scene selection not sure if I need computer control
Heating Control - no idea.
Alarm System - no idea

If you all were building from scratch, what would be the minimum you would install? ANy products I should be checking out and alternatively, any that I should avoid?

I'm becoming paranoid that I'm missing out on so much great technology as I don't know where or what I should be looking at.

Thanks for indulging my rambles